Lonliness

Loneliness, one of the most profound experiences a human can have. The experience of isolation, distance, and disconnect from others. It's Sunday morning, I have showered and readied for church, and this is what I am experiencing. In a few short hours I will be siting with 600 other people... I wonder how many of them experience loneliness? I guess the overcast sky might have something to do with it, or the fact that a busy holiday week is wrapping up. But maybe, just maybe, loneliness is visiting to remind me of something, to teach me about something more powerful than imagined, to guide me in a way of greater love. I don't like the feeling of loneliness, it's uncomfortable, never dangerous when kept in check, but always serves as a great encourager to be the one to reach out and connect meaningfully with others.

The church & Jesus

Ernst Kasemann, a German theologian, made the following insights:

"What causes most trouble for Christians of all ages is not legalism or lack of faith or theological controversies; it is Jesus Himself, who bestows freedom so openhandedly and dangerously on those who do not know what to do with it. The church always gets panic-stricken for the fear of the turmoil Christ creates when He comes on the scene; and so it takes His freedom under its own management for the protection of souls entrusted to it, in order to dispense it in homeopathic doses when it seems necessary. The church claims to represent Jesus on earth, but in fact often supplants Him. It must tremble in all its joints when confronted with His portrait. Ecclesiastical traditions and laws have domesticated Jesus, and today all of the churches are living off the success of the attempt."

A Broad Smile

Brennan Manning relates this story:

"Several years ago, Ed Farrell, a priest from Detroit, went on a two-week summer vacation to Ireland to visit relatives. His one living uncle was about to celebrate his eightieth birthday. On the great day, Ed and his uncle got up early. It was before dawn. They took a walk along the shores of Lake Killarney and stopped to watch the sunrise. They stood side by side for a full twenty minutes and then resumed walking. Ed glanced at his uncle and saw that his face had broken into a broad smile. Ed said, 'Uncle Seamus, you look very happy.' 'I am.' Ed asked, 'How come?' And his uncle replied, 'The Father of Jesus is very fond of me.' "

Numbers 6:24ff

God bless you and keep you,

God smile on you and gift you,

God look you full in the face
and make you prosper.

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Remember, today the Father of Jesus has a radiant smile pointing in your direction because you are one of His beloved.

Helpless, but not Hopeless

" I have not seen a patient who was not helpless, totally or partially. Patients are helpless to stop their pressures, they are helpless when they find themselves seized with air-hunger (panic attack) or night terror (rumminating thoughts). And if any patient claims to be helpless I shall not challenge the correctness of his statement. But when a patient declares himself hopeless I shall warn him that he has presumed to make a prognosis and has trespassed into my territory. The physician alone is capable of deciding whether a condition is hopeless or hopeful."

This quote is from Dr. Abraham Low, MD. He was a Jewish psychiatrist that founded an international organization called "Recovery Incorporated". He launched Recovery Inc. before Bill W. and A.A. were around. What I enjoy about his insights is that they are rabbinical in flavor. Rabbai first, psychiatrist second. I love the last sentence, "The physician alone is capable of deciding whether a condition is hopeless or hopeful." Great stuff!!! Sounds like something Jesus would say to us.

Just Read

I've received emails and a comment regarding neurosis.

You and me, we have a history. Some of our histories are full of joy, laughter, warmth, and presence. Other's histories are detailed with abuse, neglect, addiction, anxiety, depression, etc. I like the first over the latter. At this point we can't choose our past. It's done, except for those memory neurons that keep firing and continue keeping our memories alive. These memories determine alot. This is an understatement. I think our childhood meant something. We may be adults now, but our childhood continues. We assessed our meaning in the early days by the faces of those around us and the touches they offered. The quality of those early days have residue into our adulthood. Those were the days of meaning. Where we discovered that we were important and cherrished to those close to us. For some, those days never arrived. This is where neurosis begins. Unhealthy emotional families keep their children off balance. The children try to reclaim balance by becoming what the family system demands of them. These children develop a life command: "Be what others want you to be and then you can have peace." This is a redicullous way to live. These children as adults have little to no sense of self. I know because it is me. Decades of attempting to be everything to everybody else, thus a "False" self, an actor in a sick distorted play. Every waking hour being on stage and performing for others, so they will be happy, so I can be happy. This is an expression of neurosis. Neurosis is to light of a word. It is emotional and spiritual cancer of the worst kind. If it is not treated it will destroy. This is not a warning, but reality. I've lived it. It is not something that happens to a person, but is a choice, an idolotrous choice, "Others above God". Living, breathing, rumminating, over the opportunity to prove one's importance to others. A treadmill of death, that's what it is! I'm off, no more! What we need is circumcission. A slicing and bleeding of our memories. A removal that heals and gives us a new identity... a "True" self. This is Christianity. A complete reworking of our inner-life as we experience the healthy family system of the Trinity. Acceptance, value, redemption, forgiveness, esteem, identity, peace, presence are the commodity of this Family. I like this family. It lets my old family off the hook, forgiveness is theirs and mine. I am a child once again. I am being restored. I am my Abba's child and so are you.

PubCast on Creativity

An interesting discussion on pursuing creativity by Dick Staub and guests. This was recorded live in a local Seattle pub.

Sacred | Sideways presentation @ River Life Church

If anyone lives in the downtown Sacramento area and feels like dropping by River Life Church this Sunday, I'd enjoy meeting you as I'm speaking on relationships. Their meeting time begins at 9:30 AM and they are located in East Sacramento. Beyond me speaking, which is really no big thing, River Life is one of a few authentic Sacramento emergent communities meeting in an organized manner. So, if you're looking for an authentic group of Believers that are into livin' it, then this locale is worth visiting.

Neurotic me, Neurotic we

I am a psychotherapist by trade. I work with people. I also work with myself. I analyze others as they analyze me. But I mainly analyze myself. Somewhat boring, but infrequently entertaining. I've learned a bit about myself and others. I'm a bit of a neurotic... that's what I learned. I've also learned that a lot of people are neurotic. At least I'm not alone. We neurotics work hard on being "serious". We get worked up big time. Other people don't see the drama we do. We get enraged and find ourselves talking to people that have a certain look on their face as they listen. You know, the, "what freakin' planet did you just fall off?" look. They also look traumatized. When I was in seminary a professor said something to me. He was giving me the look when he said it. "Jon, you are way too serious", that's what he said. I didn't like what he said. We neurotics are serious. We neurotics don't like being told we are serious. I still like my professor. Jesus was serious. Not my kind of serious though. He didn't care for the way some people could be overly serious. He didn't like it when people were religious and overly serious at the same time. I can be that way. It feels yucky inside. I don't like feeling yucky. Jesus did get serious though. He got serious when children were mistreated. He got serious when an adulterous women was going to be nuked by the crowd. He got serious when a knife was drawn and an ear was lost. He became enraged also. He became enraged when others prostituted the gifts of His Father. He was not neurotic. I don't think He felt yucky when He was serious. I get enraged at shallowness. I get enraged at modern inauthenticity in the church. I get enraged ..., but I'm a neurotic. Jesus focused on His Father. He was not a neurotic. I'll focus on my Father. I will not be neurotic.

Emerging Broken: A Look @ the 10-20-30 Virus

Some of my friends have been blogging their 10-20-30 virus. I am riveted at these glimpses into their past. I am also struck. I am struck at the commonality of brokenness in their narratives. Common themes are divorce, distance from one parent, isolation, drug abuse, addictions, disappointment, and neglect. Way too close to home for me. Now we're adults with broken narratives, what does this mean? What does this mean to the emergent community? It means a lot. Broken people break more things for the most part. We can be a dangerous bunch. We don't like the mainstream church! Why? It reminds us of home. Where falsities are rampant. We don't like mainstream church because it feels false, appears false... too familiar for our weary bones. So we criticize. We're adults now and we have opinions. There is much to criticize. But we still feel empty. At times hauntingly empty. We talk about community and authenticity. Would we know community and authenticity if we actually experienced it? How would we? Many of us have never experienced it. We can nail fake though! We're experts. We need a new sacred space called home. That home is our Abba's tent. In our Abba's tent we become the children that we never were. In our Abba's tent, we laugh, cry and express in reality, not family distortion. In our Abba's tent, we are the children sitting on our Savior's knee, as he grasps us close to Himself as the neurotic adults try and rip us away from Him. In our Abba's tent we are safe... we are known... and we are His.