I am a psychotherapist by trade. I work with people. I also work with myself. I analyze others as they analyze me. But I mainly analyze myself. Somewhat boring, but infrequently entertaining. I've learned a bit about myself and others. I'm a bit of a neurotic... that's what I learned. I've also learned that a lot of people are neurotic. At least I'm not alone. We neurotics work hard on being "serious". We get worked up big time. Other people don't see the drama we do. We get enraged and find ourselves talking to people that have a certain look on their face as they listen. You know, the, "what freakin' planet did you just fall off?" look. They also look traumatized. When I was in seminary a professor said something to me. He was giving me the look when he said it. "Jon, you are way too serious", that's what he said. I didn't like what he said. We neurotics are serious. We neurotics don't like being told we are serious. I still like my professor. Jesus was serious. Not my kind of serious though. He didn't care for the way some people could be overly serious. He didn't like it when people were religious and overly serious at the same time. I can be that way. It feels yucky inside. I don't like feeling yucky. Jesus did get serious though. He got serious when children were mistreated. He got serious when an adulterous women was going to be nuked by the crowd. He got serious when a knife was drawn and an ear was lost. He became enraged also. He became enraged when others prostituted the gifts of His Father. He was not neurotic. I don't think He felt yucky when He was serious. I get enraged at shallowness. I get enraged at modern inauthenticity in the church. I get enraged ..., but I'm a neurotic. Jesus focused on His Father. He was not a neurotic. I'll focus on my Father. I will not be neurotic.
3 comments:
Jon,
I'm reading the Road Less Traveled. It's freakin awesome. But he has an interesting definition of a neurotic. He defines it as someone who blames himself for everything.
What do you think.
Here's my take on neurosis. It is a dynamic tension. It is the tension when the "false" self is attempting and asserting itself in place of the "True" self. In New Testament language it is when our brokenness is so strongly married to our flesh that our behavioral, spiritual and psychological presentation is destructive to our "True" self and also destructive to others. It is the battle between our Jacob and our Esau, our David and our Goliath.
Jonathan,
I really didn't answer your question. In part I agree that neurosis is a pattern of self blame, a common quality in major depressive disorder... interesting to me. To me it literally means, a pattern of living out of the "false" self that eventually wears out a person's "happy" neurology. This is why depression is so tough to deal with, because it over taxes the brains ability to produce and disperse endorphins, dopamine, seratonin, etc. A huge portion of psychotherapy, in my eyes, is the gift of introducing a person back to their "True" selves. What this does is allow the brain to stop relegating its resources to project and maintain the "false" self. The "false" self is taxing to the entire body and I also believe psychosomaticism is a symptom of living out of the "false" self. The body literally, psychologically, emotionally, spiritually, and physically turns on itself and begins to destroy itself. Ask me about my chronic back pain and I'll share with you how discovering more of my "True" self has basically rid me of years of pain. In short, God is interested in our well-being.
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